skulduggery skits
by royal type
Summary: join these hilarious storys aka my life and the skulduggery pleasant world mix it together and you get me a crazy dilusional obsesed fan. mild language
1. Chapter 1

chapter 1

Me and friend walking around the mall.

Friend: Drooling

Me: Whats wrong

Friend: I saw fletcher

Me: No you didn't

Friend: Starts running after this random dood screaming at the top of her lungs "must touch the fuzzy".

Random Dude: What the hell, get away from me you freakshow!

Me: in fits of laughter LOL

~ Authers note ~

Ok first chapter finished, funny thing this actually happend except i changed it a bit, she didn't actualy go up to the guy. tehe


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2

Me and friend explouring the wilderness.

Me: Finds lollie wrapper and shows friend

Friend: Looks up and smiles wickedly

Both: Gordens been here

Both: Run home to tell mum

~ Authers Note ~

And again she updates, this acctualy happend most chapters will be based on inside jokes and things i've done. Comment if you have done this

pter 2


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3

Me and friend sitting in bedroom and a random black van drives past.

Me: A suspicious black van just drove past

Friend: I have an idea

Me and friend run outside to grab butterfly nets and chase the ice cream van down the street.

~ Authers Note ~

Oh look she updated well i have good news soon i will be introducing friend as a name it will be easier to understand.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4

One word... Fletcherie.

A couple reasons why there awesome:

1\. Its fletcher and valkyrie duh.

2\. They can have little elemental teleporting babies.

3\. THE FUZZY.

4\. Plus no afence but sailens dead so... fletcerie.

~Authers Note ~

Apoligies if your not a fan of fletcherie, and if youre not comment who is your favourite skulduggery pleasant couple.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

Ok today i'm bringing something very interesting to the table.

It's about my new nickname for skulduggery pleasant...Skullboy.

Quite frankly everyone should call him skullboy.

~ Authors Note ~

Comment "skullboy" if you agree everyone should call him that, and if not whats your fav nickname for him?


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6

Hey look ... its a giant authers note boo you might say well theres some pretty interesting stuff you need to know.

So every time you view, fav or follow your helping me become a known writer, the reason i write on fanficton is because i want to make you laugh yes im talking about you. Not to affend or hate just pointing out everyone is entitled to their opinion.

And i will ask questions because i want to get to know you what you like. And if your feeling down or upset you can talk to me open up to me you can trust me it will stay between us its sometimes you just need a friend to be there for you and i will gladly be that friend.

So thats my little authers note, and shout out to iriskary writing the battle has just begun its pretty awesome.( and also its a skulduggery pleasent fanfic)


	7. Chapter 7

chapter 7

Five things i dislike about Skulduggery Pleasant.

1\. Valduggery would never exist (its not possible).

2\. My friend trys to act like valkyrie (it's so anoying).

3\. Valkyrie cheated on Fletcher.

4\. It makes people think they need to were black.

5\. And fans of S.P have it in there head that if you dont like S.P you suck. Wich isn't true, everyone is entitled to an opinion and you need to respect that not be rude.

~ Authers Note ~

Now i bet i'm going to get a bunch of hate comments but i don't care.

So leave a comment if you agree with any of my dislikes about S.P

and tell me youre pet hates on S.P .


	8. Chapter 8

chapter 8

Five things i love about skulduggery pleasant.

1\. It's based in ireland.

2\. Valkyrie and Skulduggery make such a good team.

3\. Derek Landys dedications. (there so funny)

4\. THE MAGIC.

5\. The sence of humour.

~ Authers Note ~

Ok i wrote five things i dislike about S.P so i thought it was time to write five things i love about S.P, also comment some things you love about S.P .

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A HAPPY NEW YEAR GOOD LUCK IN 2015!


	9. Chapter 9

omg derek landy i just wanted to thank you for writing the best series ever slight con I CANT BELIEVE YOU ENDED IT YOU SUCK! again no biggy. just wanted to apolagise for not updating i was busy becoming an actress HAHA YOU SHAL ALL BECOME PART OF MY FAN ARMY! (if you want).


	10. Chapter 10

**so ihad this hilarious idea but was to busy to write it so i asked my amazing friend if she could write it for me so she did she also included one of her characters into it its also longer than usaual wich is awesome so thanks to my amazeball friend who wrote this chapter for me based on my idea. :)**

**Writers note, check out iriskary on fanfiction she is the best writer ever. :) **

** but not as good as me hehe:)**

**:P**

Valkyrie was sitting in skulduggery's house watching the tv she had begged and sulked him into buying when he walking in and sat down next to her. she started giggling, and then laughing, and then a full blown laugh attack overtook her as skulduggery watched her with what she assumed was meant to be a raised eyebrow. He only spoke when she had finally calmed down.

"so" he started. "mind telling me what's so funny?" Valkyrie laughed again and sighed before starting.

"skulduggery" she said normally.

"yes?"

"you have the boniest arse i have ever seen."

Skulduggery paused, very unsure how to respond as Valkyrie continued to laugh. Then he got the most hilarious idea, so he stood up and asked, "are you sure?" Valkyrie nodded finally coming down from her laughter. "maybe you should have another look just to be sure" he finished. Skulduggery turned and moved his butt closer to Valkyrie's face. She squealed.

"SKULDUGGERY! GET YOUR BONY RUMP OUT OF MY FACE!" Alice happened to walk in that very moment and straight back out again, not even bothering to ask what was going on.

Skulduggery laughed like a madman and sat down next to Valkyrie again. They stared at each other a moment befor the door opened. A distant shout was heard from the kitchen, "Abbi, no! save yourself!" someone muttered, "shut up" good naturedly before Abbi walked in.

"Did i hear somthing about a bony rump?" she asked. Valkyrie grinned at her.

"yeah" she said. "told you i'd do it" Skulduggery looked between the two, shocked.

"you planned this?!" The girls grinned.

"Abbi told me to do it" Valkyrie said.

"Alice made up the bony rump bit" Abbi said.

"But Abbi brought up the bony rump first!" Alice called from the kitchen. Skulduggery shook his head.

"what am i going to do with you girls" he muttered. Valkyrie ad Abbi grinned and Alice started laughing quite loudly in the next room.


	11. Chapter 11

A commen question is "where would you like to travel in the world?" People mostly answer Queensland or America ... i simply say IRELAND!. :)

_**Sorry its short i just wanted to post something to say thank you and good night i LOVE you all.**_

_**:)**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok i have an anouncment... whoop whoop. So im going to start a series about (of course) skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyre yes its VALDUGGERY its not my favourite couple but yeah there alright ... and guess what they have kids and a relaitionship (duh) and in any normal relationship theres fighting,LOVE, sympathy, food, messes, dates and yeah you get the picture. So please leave a review if your looking forword to it and if you have any suggestions or questions or requests.**

As skulduggery and valkyre walked in the door to skulduggerys house due to a finished day of fighting crime with magic. Skulduggery hesitantly started walking toward the bedroom then turned around and shouted out

" I'll be back in a minuite"

"Okay" Valkyre answerd in a confused yet suspicious voice.

Roughly about five minuits later when valkyre finaly found some food skulduggery walked out wearing a blue dress. valkyre raised an eyebrow unsure of what was hapening.

"What' he said as if everything was normal.

"What are you wear-" then suddenly she got cut off by Skulduggery manipulating the water from Valkyres cup making snowflakes.

"Dont you dar-" she was cut off again by Skulduggerys singing.

"Let it go, Let it go"

"Since when could you make snowflakes"

"Since skeletons can talk"

"Oh"


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone sorry this is kind of an auters note so yeah. i recomend reading the battle has just begun by iriskary in the sp categorie. Happy Easter and for those who don't celobrate ester have a good week. Also check out "imortals" by fall out boy!**

**I'm also working on making my chapters longer please review what you think of the lengths of the chapters. if been thinking of starting this fun question every chapter the first question **

**how many times have you read the ****_full_**** skulduggery pleasant series? **


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok for the time being im starting a mini series its called "the bucket list" basicaly im writing different charecters bucket lists from my point of veiw also dont foget to reveiw i love reading your reviews. The question of the chapter is ... is your parent suportive of your liking or obsesion for skulduggery pleasent**

**Skulduggery's bucket list!**

**1.** Save the world multiple times (_check)_

**2.** Win Valkyres heart (check)

**3\. **Seek revenge to those goblins who stole his skull (not yet)

**4\. **Reclaim his family crest (not yet)

**5\. **Get Valkyre a stick (check)

**6\. **Get another hat (in the neer futre)


	15. Chapter 15

**This is just not any ordinary chapter its celebrating 600 views! This must be cheesy but i just wanted to say thankyou for everyone who viewed my fanfic it means alot. and special thanks to thosewho reviewed i apoligise if i dont review back but i love reading them they always inspireme and are very helpfull. and im starting this thing so out of all the reviews i pic one and dedicate the chapter to the user who wrote it. the question of the chapter is - ****_When did you start reading the skulduggery pleasent series? _****This chapter is dedicated to****_ \- Deadgirl19. (congrats!)_**** so heres the chapter sorry about my rambling.**

_Valkyre's bucket list!_

**1.** Get a stick of skulduggery (check)

**2\. **Defeat Darquess (you'll have to read the last book)

**3\. **Move the darn shell (check)

**4\. **Mess up flechers hair ( i honestly dont know if shes done that)

**5\. **Steel skulduggery's hat (check)

**If you think have an idea of something else that should be in there please review. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey peoples yay another chapter what fun just letting you guys know i wont be updating as often after Easter. I'll try and do a super long easter special or a bunch of small ones it depends. The reason i wont be updating as much is because i want to spend time with my very special family and the internet scource is not that good at home i'm currently staying at my grandmas and she has wifi at home we dont have wifi i know it sucks but i'll see what i can do. Also if i miss anything out or you have a sugestion dont hesitate to review and or private message me :) the question of the chapter is - what is your favourite movie?. this chapter is dedicated to "iriskary". and now the chapter begins.**

_Fletcher's bucket list_

**1.** Kiss china (never gonna happen)

**2\. **Buy a lifetime suply of hair gell (in his dreams)

**3\. **Ask out Steffanie (check)

**4\. **Live in Australia (check)


	17. Chapter 17

Hey my lovely's I haven't updated because of school but that's no excuse so I apologise for keeping you waiting.

Ghastly's Bucket List!

1, KILL SANGUINE

2, Kiss Tanith

3, Find the person who cursed his mum

4, take revenge on the person who cursed his mum


	18. Chapter 18

ok so the last chapter I posted I was rushing and forgot the dedication and the question so this "chapter" is a make up chapter. sorry if you expected a proper chapter. I dedicate this chapter to iriskary. (congrats) if you could do magic what elemental power would you have? and to clear things up I base the dedication on who reviews.


	19. Chapter 19

_**ok I just wanted to say sorry for not uploading... so I have a spare weekend and will be making many catch up chapters. I hope you enjoy the following chapter. please comment, favourite, and follow.**_

ughh Valkyrie, whined skulduggery

stop whining I said I had a surprise for you!

I don't enjoy this.

I know, that's why I got you a surprise.

just give it to me already.

fine, demanding much, turn around.

fine, as skulduggery turned around Valkyrie puled out a velvet **red **tie

you can turn around now

skulduggery turned around and gasped, WHY?!

don't you love it skulduggery! she said sarcasticly

im not going to lie Valkyrie but I honestly HATE IT AND WISHED IT BURNED IN HELL!

Valkyrie stood there in shock.

well you asked for my opinion!

**so what do you think? anyway my question is ****_if you could have any dream job what would it be and why?_**


	20. Chapter 20

_**hey guys, hope you enjoy this chapter, don't forget to review, follow and fav. if you could have any super power what would it be?**_

**Tanith's bucket list!**

1, mary ghastly

2, bring back ghastly

3,kill trolls

4,die my hair purple

5,carv skulduggery's bones

6,get a new sword


	21. Chapter 21

I am not going to be continuing this fanfic due to

1, loss of interest

2, unsuccessful

3, private stress


	22. Chapter 22

I do apologise but I am currently writing a book here's a snippet of the end if your interested!

I didn't imagine leaving everything I ever knew like this, but only one thing is reassuring me is that I have him by my side my best friend my...

(it's not a love story) just making that clear


End file.
